I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
