This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize