Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
