i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
