went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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