They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
