if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
