Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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