you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
