1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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