Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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