i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
