i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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