Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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