Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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