I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
That's intense
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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