And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
