Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
