lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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