thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
