took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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