**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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