Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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