Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize