Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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