There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
