We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
