Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
