I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
