why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have fence marks all over my body
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
