I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We got so high we made milksteak
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
