Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
