dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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