When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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