i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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