I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
