Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
