so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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