Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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