Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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