Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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