do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
