haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
