Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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