I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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