I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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