So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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