OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
