Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is my gift to your gina
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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