The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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