And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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