Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
