Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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